Sis, Keeping Beating the Odds

On this particular day, I was in D.C. It was a good day! I had a few moments to look back on how far I have come. I just completed a video campaign with one of the nonprofit organizations I partner with. I was able to join some of my mentors and peers in the field. It is always an enjoyable time when I get to see them. I never would have believed I would end up where I am now.

About two weeks earlier, my uncle came to me and said, "Shawnte’ every time I turn around, you are constantly beating the odds. I've never seen somebody go through this and go through that and still come out.” Surprisingly at the time when he was saying all of this, I was going through hell. I was getting hit on the left and the right!

As I was looking back over the past few weeks and rehearsing the events, I said to myself, "Hold up, Girl! You have a history of BEATING ODDS." More importantly, you have history with God!

So many people see who I am now, and they think, "Okay, I want you to be my mentor. I want you to be my coach.". Few truly know and understand my past struggles. It is more than an HIV diagnosis; HIV has become a light affliction. Like most resilient people, I have gone through so many challenges. Building resilience is necessary!

As the corporate woman, author, advocate, coach, mom, and more, I want to start being more transparent about who Shawnte’ is behind the scenes. Our transparency can truly transform lives.

I recalled my 11^th-grade year in high school. I was going through a season where I was experiencing some issues at home which resulted in me living from home to home. After several weeks in this predicament, my boyfriend ended up sneaking me into his home when his mom was sleeping. Most days were spent in school, then working, sitting at the pool house, or in my boyfriend’s brother’s abandoned car. Some nights I even slept in the car.

I would wake up and shower in the house or go to the pool house to shower. I rode my 10-speed bike to high school every day. No one knew, except my close friends that I was homeless. I was just trying to get through the year, just trying to keep my head up. My principal at the time walked around daily with this arrogance. She was brutal but later I recognized she was simply doing her job as a leader. Grant it, I had an attitude most days as well. I was not as composed back then as I am now.

I was unable to ride the school bus because I did not have a permanent address to be placed on the route. As a result, I would arrive at school late most days. One day she said, "Shawnte,’ if you're late one more time, I'm going to expel you." It was just one of those days I just was not feeling it. She pushed all my buttons!

“Look, ma'am my legs are sore. I'm tired from riding this bike every day,” I was saying to myself. Before I knew it, the frustration that had built up for several months came out and I blurted out, "Well, just go ahead and do it." She replied, “Fine.”  She expelled me! It was the final month of the school year. Therefore, since she expelled me instead of suspending me, my 11^th grade would not count. Now it was her abrupt approach mixed with my negative demeanor that resulted in my outcome. I always say, your attitude can take you through doors or it can keep you out of doors you would have otherwise had access to. As a result, I had to sign up for summer school for the entire summer, to earn enough credits to enter 12^th grade on schedule.

So here it is, I am homeless and now I have to find the money to pay for summer school. I eventually saved up enough money from my job at Pizza Hut to register for summer school. I did what I had to do! I finished summer school. I ended up coming back to D.C. for my 12^th-grade year and graduating from Paul Lawrence Dunbar High School on time!

Looking back at the situation, was it her fault I was in the predicament I was in? Sadly, she didn’t even know about my circumstance until after I was expelled from school. She wished I had come to her sooner before things spiraled out of control. How often are we guilty of blaming others for not helping us when they're unaware?

I had so many people tell me; that I was not going to graduate on time or even at all. To see not only did I complete high school, but I earned one degree and then I went back and earned another degree. I am currently wrapping up the final semester of my third degree.

I was determined to prove something, not to anyone else but the little girl inside of me.

You have what it takes Shawnte’.

You will get through this Shawnte’.

You are smart enough Shawnte’.

Heck, Shawnte’, YOU ARE  MORE THAN ENOUGH!

Now and then I must remind myself of those moments. I am beating the odds daily, but it is no goodness of my own. God placed a tenacity and determination within me that keeps me going even when I want to give up. Some days, I did not want to fight for myself. Somehow, someway I found the strength to fight for others. I had people depending on me to SHOW UP! You never know who you are destined to help assist in their NEXT SEASON!

Whatever you go through remember, you were built for this! Rise and bounce back! There is more in you and there is more to come.

Things to ponder on…

1. Are you holding people hostage for not helping or supporting you and they were unaware you needed them?
2. How many times have you continuously beat the odds? Make a list of the circumstances you have overcome. Include dates. Review your list (a record) on days you do not feel worthy or courageous.
3. Give yourself permission to get back up and try again. This time do it with support!

Don’t let the ODDS beat you, instead continue to beat the HECK out of the ODDS!